<< November 2009 >>
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certain things, ideas flood my thoughts
If only I have the power to change a thing
it would be the society I am / we're in.
this is me. not blessed with so many talents
not blessed with such beautiful features
but I'm thankful the way I am created
I have a heart with so much love to give
for me, it's more than enough.



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Saturday, December 08, 2007
Gamot na hindi lunas.

Bawat tahanan siguro sa mundong ito ay kakikitaan ng gamot sa kani-kanilang bahay, kung hindi man madami ay mayroon pa ring mangilan ngilan para sa mabilisang lunas sa anumang karamdaman. Mahalaga ang gamot, alam nating lahat iyan, kadalasan yan ang nagiging susi upang mas humaba pa ang buhay na ipinahiram sa atin. Bawat gamot ay may kani-kaniyang gamit, me sariling ‘expertise’ kumbaga. Pero para sa akin, marami sa gamot na ito ang walang lunas. magulo ba?

gamot na hindi lunas. imbento ko lamang ang salitang iyan sa kadahilanang kaya nga nito magpagaling ngunit ang halaga naman nito ay hindi abot ng nakararami kaya’t malaki man ang silbi niya, wala pa ring lunas na maibibigay ito sa nangangailangan sa kaniya.

Hindi maipagkakaila na sa ating bansa, mas marami ang hindi nabiyayaan ng masaganang pamumuhay, mga taong masuwerte na kung makakakain sa loob ng 3 araw at lalo na kung may kuryente sa tahanan, at dahil nga nasasadlak sa ganitong kalagayan, sila rin ang mas madalas tamaan ng sakit na nangangailangan ng serbisyo ng mga gamot na hindi lunas. bubuhayin lamang ba ng mga gamot na ito ang mga mayayamang nagpapayaman pa? sila na lang ba ang may karapatang pahabain pa ang pisi ng buhay? lahat naman tayo ay mga tao, lahat tayo ay magtatapos sa pagiging abo, sa huli lahat ay magiging pantay-pantay, bakit hindi pwedeng habang nabubuhay ay maging pantay man lamang kahit sa ilang mga bagay?

tanggap ko na ang buhay ay hindi patas. tama sila, paano mo malalaman ang sarap kung hindi ka naghirap at pano mo malalaman ang hirap kung hindi mo naranasan ang sarap ng buhay, buti sana kung ganoon talaga ang takbo ng gulong ng buhay, kaya lang hindi. madalas, para bang nawawalan ng hangin ang gulong at tumitigil na ito sa pag-ikot kaya’t ang mga nasa ilalim ay nawawalan na ng pag-asang pumaibabaw pa. sa pagkakataong ito, hindi ko maiwasan maisip kung bakit lahat ng bagay ay mas pumapanig sa mas nakaririwasa, sila na nga ang mas nabiyayaan, sila pa ang mas binibigyan prayoridad, hindi ba dapat baliktad? hindi ba dapat mas bigyan pansin ang mga taong nakatapak na sa putikan upang maiahon man lang? maski man lamang sa pagbibigay ng mga gamot para mas mapahaba ang buhay na kanilang hiniram, yun lang ay malaking bagay na. sana naman ay wag ng dumami ang bilang ng mga gamot na walang lunas, sana’y ang halaga nito ay maging halaga rin ng mga taong umaasam dito

Posted at 10:11 am by mishjacq
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Gusto kong Magbasa.

'maging palabasa ka at marami kang malalaman'.

Yan ang madalas kong marinig mula sa aking guro nung sekondarya. Alam kong tama siya, hindi ko ipagkakaila na bata pa lamang ako ay nahihilig na ako sa pagbabasa ngunit napagkakaitan lamang ng mga librong dapat na basahin. ang mga ate at kuya ko kasi ay hindi mahilig sa gawaing ganito kaya wala akong babasahin na mahiram mula sa kanila, wala pa rin naman akong kakayahan na bumili ng mga libro na ginugusto ko nung mga panahong iyon. Unti-unting namatay ang pagkahilig ko dito dahil wala naman akong ibang mabasa kundi ang mga textbook ko. Pagpasok ko sa unang taon sa sekondarya, doon ko naisip na ipunin ang baon ko at bumili ng mga libro na ginugusto ko, nais kong buhayin muli sa aking pagkatao ang lumabong liwanag ng pagkahilig ko sa isang makabuluhang gawain. Hindi naman ako nabigo, nakabili ako ng libro at ang unang libro na nabili ko mula sa mga naipon kong baon ay ang 'abnkkbsnplako' ni Bob Ong. Naaliw ako sa aklat na yun, maganda ang pagkakagawa at ang nilalaman, lalo nitong pinaigting ang pagkahilig ko sa pagbabasa at lalo akong ginanahan na mangolekta ng libro. Nakumpleto ko ang mga aklat ni Bob Ong at marami pa kong mga aklat na nabasa, masaya ako dahil hindi ako nakukulong sa mga kaalamang sa apat na sulok lamang ng paaralan nakukuha, nakakalabas ako sa mundong dinidikta lamang ng mga textbook na binibili sa paaralan dahil kailangan ito.

pagtuntong ko sa kolehiyo ay mas nahilig ako sa pagbabasa lalo na sa mga self-help books, ilan dito ay ang 'don't sweat the small stuff series, chicken soup for teenage soul, at purpose driven'. marami akong natutunan sa mga librong iyon na nakapagpalawak ng pagtingin ko sa buhay at realidad, hinubog nito ang pagkatao ko sa maraming aspeto lalo na sa pagharap sa mga pagsubok na ibinabato sa atin ng mundo. kung paano ako pinatatag ng mga librong iyon ay ganun naman ang lungkot ko ng muli na namang bumagal ang takbo ng munti kong aklatan dahil sa kakulangan sa oras. naging bahagi ako ng organisasyon na kumakain ng maraming panahon kaya't naiwan akong naaalikabukan ang aklatang aking binuo. Marami na akong mga librong hindi nabili at hindi pa nabibili, hindi ko na nadalaw ang aklatang aking binuo hanggang sa..

sa isang araw, sa ika-apat na taon ko sa kolehiyo ng marinig kong muli ang mga katagang iyon sa aking guro mula sa asignaturang nagluluklok sa ating pambansang bayani sa mataas na karangalan at maaari rin namang kabaligtaran. muli akong nabuhayan ng marinig ko sa kaniya ng katagang "maging palabasa" naisip kong hindi pa naman huli ang lahat, maaari pa akong magsimulang muli, linisin ang aking munting aklatan, punasan ang mga alikabok at muling bisitahin ang mga pahinang minsan ng nalimot.

marami pa akong mga ninanais na mabasa, kabilang dito ang 'Tuesdays with Morrie, eleven minutes, mga aklat ni Paulo Coelho, at ang pinakabago ay ang mga gawa ng kagalang-galang na si Rene Villanueva'.

ang huling awtor na aking nabanggit ay paborito ng aking kabiyak, salamat sa kaniya at ipinakilala niya ako sa isang magaling na manunulat na alam kong mas kapupulutan ko pa ng mga aral.

gusto kong magbasa. gusto kong palaguin ang aking sariling gawang aklatan. pag-iipunan kong muli ang mga aklat na ito at sana'y may tumulong din sakin para palaguin ang maituturing kong bisyo na mayroon ako.


Posted at 10:10 am by mishjacq
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Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Not so ordinary tuesday

I never imagined that I will consider Tuesday as something extra ordinary not until yesterday, December 04, 2007 when a surprise made my day.

"ada, namimiss ko talaga si dustin". I said this during our Spanish class to my deary friend ada, and felt a little twinge cause I know I have to wait until Saturday to see him again. after class, my bestfriend and I went to the Student Council to check some things on the upcoming cheering competition. After some short exchange of conversations, we decided to go home. On our way down since the SC office is in the 4th floor of the CET bldg, I was startled to see a guy in pink who's supposed to be working at Ortigas in that hour. I stopped for a while to check if i'm just imagining things or I'm really in the real world, and YES! everything's real, he's right in front of me.. I was in a state of bliss in that moment. I immediately took his hand and held it. I loved that feeling.. the warmth of his touch that never failed to comfort me.

 I know he's tired but he still accompanied me to Popoy's to celebrate the birthday of my dear friend who happens to be his friend too. I really appreciated that act, that he has an option to head home early but opted to visit and spend some time with me.

I love surprises and that one really made my day. I could not ask for more.. he's the best that I've got. and I know that everyday will not be ordinary if I'll spend it with him.


Posted at 11:33 pm by mishjacq
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Saturday, December 01, 2007
my most awaited present

24 days to go and the most awaited opening of the presents kept underneath those fully decorated Christmas tress will be seen. presents wrapped with so much love and care with the intention of painting a smile on the faces of their loved ones. it's so nice to see how families get together just to celebrate the yuletide season as one; but as for me, those things just exist in my imagination.

being the youngest in the brood of four, i have always dreamed of having a mini feast with my whole family during Christmas season, but that still remains in a world where reality doesn't exist. my 2 sisters are working ouside the boundaries of the country, my brother has his own family; I don't have any problems of celebrating it with my mom and dad but it always occurs to me that it would be much happier if we're complete.

though I am not extremely very happy, I'm not depressing sad either, I still live to the essence that Christmas day is to commemorate the Birth of Our dear Saviour. Going to church has been my customary act every Christmas and I know a day will come when a star will fall from the sky to paint not just a smile on my face but a fulfilled heart by granting my wish.



Posted at 12:31 pm by mishjacq
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Monday, November 26, 2007
blue

the shade that I love aside from pink. I love it's cool effect and it's light hue that can give a peaceful feeling to any place, environment or surroundings.

but what I don't like about it is its other meaning and that is what I'm feelin right now.

I feel so BLUE without you. 


Posted at 05:41 pm by mishjacq
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Sunday, November 25, 2007
dimming of the day..

nighttime has always been my favorite part of the day.. not just because I could escape the heat of the sun but because almost all of the activities and works are done by that time and it's almost synonymous to rest time for some.
though it's my favorite time of the day, it's also the time where sadness occurs through me.. when all of my classes/daily activities are done, that's the time when I miss him the most. the time when my thoughts have no one but him and my heart longs for his presence and touch but I can't do anythin but to wait til weekends to come so I could spend time with him and pour him with so much love for those times that i really really missed him.
it's on the dimming of the day that I always know and feel  that it's him whom i want to see..
it's on the dimming of the day when my glowing ardor tend to spark more...

Posted at 01:08 am by mishjacq
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trust to trust.

Recently, I just realized the importance of trust in any relationship. Our family is in a middle of a light storm right now but I know the clouds will soon move away when all the vapors are gone. seein the importance of trust through my parents who are almost 40 years married is very awakening in my part. two persons who are not getting any younger yet still have issues of jealousy is kinda different but on the other side, somewhat sweet.

Trust in the view of older people is more inspiring as they have already surpassed much greater temptations, jealousy in the eyes of older people is sweet as it just emanates the flame that they still have.

Very unlikely in the generation that we have right now as we only value trust as if we can buy it anywhere, not realizing that aside from respect, it's the hardest to earn. from that incident, I've learned to trust to trust. to erase my doubts but still be vigilant. it's on our hands on how we can keep the flame alive, it's on our efforts that depends the survival of any relationship. As long as the intention is pure, as long as love is present and trust is earned, no super typhoons nor great storms can sway the relationship that you have built.

Posted at 12:29 am by mishjacq
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Saturday, November 24, 2007
bata, bata bakit ka pa ginawa?

last night, I watched GMA 7's Sine totoo and I was really touched by their feature. I just forgot the title of the episode but it was about the children who are victims of poverty. I was really saddened by the thought that most of us, especially us who can savor this kind of technology are very complacent without thinking that half of the population are suffering.
Most of them are kids who falls in the age bracket of 7-12 years old. Those kids who should be seen inside the 4 walls of the classroom but heck! they're out in the field, earning a living not just for themselves but for their whole family. Kids roaming around the streets selling candies, sampaguitas, rugs and the likes, I can't help but to feel a little pinch and the most depressing part is that I can't do anything. as much as I want to, I'm not yet capable of doing or making a big change for them cause I, myself, still depends on my parents for my daily living; but I don't stop on that, I still do little acts of kindness hoping somehow it could be passed on until it becomes a hobby.
i can't help but to wonder why are these kids being made if they will just suffer the angst of life. yes, the world and life will never be fair, there are solutions but we can't just act on it.
for us who are lucky enough to sleep with so much comfort, eat with so much satisfaction, shop with no limitation, maybe it's time to think that we are not made to live for ourselves alone. we are all stewards of life and we all carry the responsibility for one another. help doesn't require big boxes or colored wrappers, help should come with the purest of intention, doesn't need to be big, sometimes bigger things start from small packages. teach a kid how to read, give them a book, share extra clothes, save money, share a food, let those values pass to your friends and soon, little bt little, I still have hopes that we still have a chance to uplift this depressing economy.




Posted at 11:52 pm by mishjacq
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8 truths about myself

I was tagged again by Ms. Jennifer Carlos. so, here are 7 truths about me.

  1. I love drawing/arts/designing but those things hate me. :c I mean, sometimes ideas pop out from my mind but I can't put it into the papers cause I can't draw.. :c
  2. Call me melodramatic but that's who I am. I cry easily. let me watch a movie with heartwarming scenes and you'll see tears flowing down on my cheeks in few minutes. more often that's my weapon to release my stress and anger.
  3. I'm very imaginative and futuristic. I always imagine things that might happen in the future, things THAT I WANT TO HAPPEN in the future. I think, for me it's an asset for sometimes I already have solutions to some of my problems as I've already anticipated it.
  4. I am sweet and mushy. need an evidence?? let me just shout to the world that I'M SO IN LOVE WITH MY BOYFRIEND AND FUTURE LIFETIME PARTNER, DUSTIN JACOB CARBONERA. just like in his entry, yes, it might be too early to say that I want to keep him forever, but that's what I really want and I'm always praying and wishing that Our dear Creator will not take him away from me.
  5. Being busy is my favorite hobby. I love to be pre-occupied, that's my motivation to keep me on track and to keep me always on the go. BUT there's an excemption, cause no matter how busy I am, I can leave all the things and have it done next time <as long as it's not urgent> just to spend time with my Dustin.
  6. I'm SHY. yes, you've read it right. most of the time I lack the courage to stand in front and talk to a group of people. I'm scared of the crowd.others might not believe this cause they see me as very friendly but the truth is I'm really shy.
  7. I am not blessed with talents nor good physical features but I love who I am and I think such confidence can let me shine too. but don't get me wrong, I'm not overconfident, it's just that I know that somehow my traits/positive attitude can make me feel good despite the fact that i'm not that pretty.
  8. the most valuable possessions that I have right now, that I will never ever trade to any wealth in the world are my family and my Dustin.

Posted at 11:20 pm by mishjacq
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Ten items on simple pleasures


Instructions: Name ten of life's simple pleasures that you like the most, then pick ten people to do the same.  I was tagged by Jennifer Carlos. Here is my list.

  1. Spending time with my boyfriend/hubby Dustin Jacob Carbonera. seein him smiling.. laughing..
  2. Reading an inspirational book such as don't sweat the small stuff before I go to sleep. it helps a lot as it widens my perspective about life.
  3. Texting. it helps to get me connected to my friends and loved ones.
  4. Taking pictures of everyday life. one way of documenting my own journey.
  5. kissing, hugging, sweet and funny moments with my Dustin
  6. Writing.
  7. listening to music especially my fave ones.
  8. going to different places, it doesn't need to be expensive or grandiose or out of the country.. as long as I enjoy the view, the person I am with and the moments contained in that certain place.
  9. nothing beats spending time with my family.
  10. Going anywhere, doing anything or even nothing, talking about anything, even out of this world topics, and moments of silence with my future lifetime partner Dustin.

Posted at 10:41 pm by mishjacq
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